Being cheated on is rubbish. It destroys your trust and makes you doubt yourself, so it’s hard to believe anything good can come out of it.
But new scientific research has concluded that there actually may be some benefit to your ex’s adultery. Really? Tell us how!
New research carried out by Binghamton University in conjunction with University College London asked 5,705 participants from 96 countries to give a numerical rating of how painful their break-ups felt, with 10 being unbearable, and 0 being not painful at all. The researchers discovered exactly what we would have predicted: women take break-ups a lot harder than men.
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The research also clarified something else we’d suspected. While women pour out their emotions, needing to dwell, mope and talk it through with anyone who will listen, this actually means that, in the long-run, we do a better job of getting over it.
We become emotionally stronger by getting over the past relationship and addressing the issues, whereas men tend to sweep it under the carpet, moving on but never fully recovering.
‘The man will likely feel the loss deeply and for a very long period of time as it “sinks in” that he must “start competing” all over again to replace what he has lost or, worse still, he will come to the realisation that the loss is irreplaceable,’ research associate Craig Morris said.
What does this have to do with cheating, though? Well the scientists focused in on this as a particular issue, and discovered that both men and women who were assessed in the study recalled feeling positive repercussions from an adulterous relationship.
Women are reported to develop a higher emotional intelligence after having been cheated on. Men, on the other hand, develop stronger personalities.
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‘Most women who have lost a mate to another woman report a “silver lining” of higher mating intelligence,’ Morris said. ‘What this means, in their words, is that they are more attuned to cues of infidelity in a future mate, more aware of how other women interact with their mate, [have] more self confidence and more self-awareness, and more independence in general.’
Oh, and just to satisfy that secret hope that your former partner’s new relationship goes wrong, science confirmed this is usually the case, too.
‘Logic and anecdotal evidence suggest that the woman who poached a man from another woman will not have a successful long-term relationship in most cases,’ the researcher confirmed.
So all in all, it’s a win for the scorned woman. Silver linings indeed.
From Cosmo UK. Images: Getty
