1. You emptied the dishwasher before going to work, but you come home to a sink crammed with eggy frying pans and greasy dishes, with four inches of brown water lapping around the sides.
2. The recycling bin is bulging with takeaway containers.
3. You put money straight into their account to avoid the wave of irritation that goes with handing over wads of cash to ‘tide them over’.
4. There’s a curiously sticky surface to the kitchen floor, even though you washed it a couple of days ago.
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5. A plunger is needed at least twice a week to unblock unspeakables. And not just in the kitchen.
6. No one, but no one, thinks to empty the bathroom bin.
7. Their idle days are given meaning by Netflix marathons. Series 4, episode 10, anyone?
8. Your default question has become: ‘So, what jobs have you applied for today?’ And then you feel guilty about nagging.
9. It’s become a matter of scientific interest to know how long it will be before the notion of changing the bedsheets comes up.
10. You dish out absurdly lavish amounts of praise when they lift a finger to help in the house.
11. Your brilliant idea of letting out a room on Airbnb has gone on the back burner. And the peppercorn rent they’re paying scarcely covers the cost of those lavish, chin-deep baths.
12.
Your week’s shopping lasts all of two days. And to be sure of getting any of those nice chocolate biscuits yourself, you have to hide them somewhere you can be sure no-one will look - like the cupboard where you keep the cleaning stuff.
13. You start wondering if it might be worth the financial pain of investing in a little studio flat somewhere far, far away. Not for them. For you…
