At least one child's feet seem to have grown an inch in the last two weeks

1. Your iron has blown a fuse and you now find yourself frantically hanging five white shirts in the shower and turning the water to boiling to create an in-home steam room.

2. It turns out they DID have homework that needed to be handed in tomorrow.

3. And that said homework involves building a to-scale model of a motte and bailey castle. Cue frantic search for loo rolls and brown tape.

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4. There is not enough bread to make packed lunch sandwiches. You thought you had loads in the freezer but it turns out your Dad ate it all for toast over the holidays. Is it OK for them to take in cheese and crackers just for one day? (Though you're not sure your youngest will appreciate the Colston Bassett Stilton, which seems to be the only cheese you have left in the fridge.)

5. ALL the Ocado slots for delivery in the next 10 minutes are full!

6. You find yourself using Dry Shampoo to 'brush off' the rugby kit that you forgot to get out of your son's sports bag over two weeks ago when he came home from school. One day your children will learn to sort out their own dirty PE kits but you suspect we will all be living in pods and being fed information via a microchip like Minority Report by then!

7. You panic that perhaps they aren't back tomorrow after all. Perhaps it's one of those 'Inset' days and they – horror – aren't back until Wednesday. Or even worse, they were actually meant to be back today!

8. At least one child's feet seem to have grown an inch in the last two weeks and none of their shoes fit. They may have to go to school in those Frozen slippers you got them for Christmas from Primark.

9. You are determined that this will be the term that you are prepped for everything. You will enrol your offspring in orchestra, cricket and Mandarin ... once you find that form they brought home with all the details before Christmas.

10. Suddenly the idea of Dry January is becoming less appealing by the second. After all that last-minute washing and ironing, you deserve a glass of wine – don't you?

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