45 Funny Valentine's Day quotes to make them laugh

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

All my wife wanted for Valentine’s Day was a little card — American Express.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something.

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women; a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.

A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.

Love is blind — marriage is the eye-opener.

You know how people say, 'You can’t live without love'? Well, oxygen is even more important.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

Love is sharing your popcorn.

Remember, your Valentine’s card shows you care enough to send the very best, even though you’re too lazy to put it in your own words.

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

I didn’t fall for you, you tripped me!

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours, I watched whatever I wanted on TV.

Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life.

Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.