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50 Hilariously heartfelt Valentine's Day jokes

Share these hilarious puns and funny one-liners with the people you love most.

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lovely old lady admiring the red flower that her husband gave her while the two have glasses of red wine at a restaurant at night

Valentine’s Day usually means there's some serious romance in the air. Heartfelt declarations of love, thoughtful gifts, expensive dinners…if that’s not usually your style, it can all feel a bit dramatic. Instead, if you or your love are a connoisseur of dad jokes or corny puns, your love language might be something a bit sillier. These adorable Valentine’s Day jokes are a funny but super sweet way to celebrate love without being quite so serious! They make a great message for Valentine’s Day cards to friends and family members, or can even be used as quirky Valentine’s Day captions for social media. Slip these hilariously heartfelt jokes in a kid’s lunchbox or text them to a friend for a smile and eye roll that lets them know you love them.

1

How do vampires know if they had a successful Valentine's Day?

how do vampires know if they had a successful valentine's day if it's love at first bite
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2

Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?

did adam and eve ever have a date joke

No, they had an apple.

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3

What did the man say to his banker on February 14?

what did the man say to his banker on february 14 joke

“You’ve caught my interest.”

4

Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?

why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef joke

He’ll dessert you.

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5

What did the gardener say to their date?

what did the gardener say to their date joke

"I dig you."

6

What did the cucumber say to the pickle?

what did the cucumber say to the pickle joke

"You mean a great dill to me."

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7

What did one plate say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

what did one plate say to the other on valentine’s day joke

“Tonight, dinner’s on me.”

8

What did one triangle say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

what did one triangle say to the other on valentine’s day joke

“You’re acute.”

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9

Why are my feet cold on Valentine’s Day?

why are my feet cold on valentine’s day joke

Because you knocked my socks off.

10

Are you the internet?

are you the internet because i’m feeling a connection joke

Because I’m feeling a connection.

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11

When should you ask someone out on a coffee date?

when should you ask someone out on a coffee date joke

When you like them a latte.

12

What did the closet say to the light bulb?

what did the closet say to the light bulb joke

"You light up my world."

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13

How do you keep a jewelry store safe on Valentine's Day?

how do you keep a jewelry store safe on valentine's day joke

You locket.

14

What did the man with the broken leg tell his Valentine?

valentines day jokes

"I have a crutch on you."

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15

Did you hear about the two radios that got married?

did you hear about the two radios that got married joke

The reception was amazing.

16

Why did the dad approve of his daughter's goalie-boyfriend?

valentines day jokes

He was a real keeper.

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17

What did one oar tell the other oar?

valentines day jokes

"This is so row-mantic!"

18

What did the car say to the tire?

what did the car say to the tire joke

"Wheel you be my valentine?"

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19

What did the tortoise say on Valentine's Day?

valentines day jokes

"I turt-ally love you."

20

What do you tell a pig on February 14?

valentines day jokes

"Happy Valen-swine's Day!"

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