Skip to Content

The funniest Joan Rivers quotes

Comedienne Joan Rivers has died at the age of 81. As people mourn the death of one of the world's funniest women, we're taking life lessons from her best quotes.
By
Sleeve, Dress, Jewellery, Fashion accessory, Flooring, Logo, Blazer, Carpet, Premiere, Necklace,
1

Diets

Eyewear, Sunglasses, Textile, Jacket, Outerwear, Coat, Fur clothing, Style, Street fashion, Natural material,
Make a diet plan that suits you.

Like this? You'll love
Lauren Bacall quotes to live by
What is a female power list and why did Olivia Colman win?
More GH women and celebrity interviews
2

Having children

Lip, Finger, Fashion accessory, Blond, Eyelash, Pleased, Body jewelry, Fashion model, Layered hair, Long hair,
Joan Rivers’ daughter Melissa has nothing but praise for her mother, so it seems Joan got the respect she was after.

Like this? You'll love
Lauren Bacall quotes to live by
What is a female power list and why did Olivia Colman win?
More GH women and celebrity interviews
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
3

Birth control

Eye, Coat, Formal wear, Suit, Tie, Blond, Bow tie, Photo caption, Love, Makeover,
Joan had no quams about joking about her ageing or the vast amounts of surgery she had.

Like this? You'll love
Lauren Bacall quotes to live by
What is a female power list and why did Olivia Colman win?
More GH women and celebrity interviews
4

Exercise

Nose, Hairstyle, Skin, Jewellery, Chin, Eyelash, Fashion accessory, Earrings, Body jewelry, Beauty,
Not a fan of a burpee, was our Joan.

Like this? You'll love
Lauren Bacall quotes to live by
What is a female power list and why did Olivia Colman win?
More GH women and celebrity interviews
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
5

Dogs

Human, Vertebrate, Dog breed, Mammal, Hat, Carnivore, Dog, Liver, Sun hat, Companion dog,
Joan Rivers was a big dog lover, but never missed a chance for a one-liner.

Like this? You'll love
Lauren Bacall quotes to live by
What is a female power list and why did Olivia Colman win?
More GH women and celebrity interviews
6

Flossing

Red, Dress, Fashion accessory, Jewellery, Costume accessory, Logo, Carmine, Carpet, Premiere, Necklace,
Just never floss with a stranger.

Like this? You'll love
Lauren Bacall quotes to live by
What is a female power list and why did Olivia Colman win?
More GH women and celebrity interviews
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
7

Laughter

Human, Dog breed, Dog, Carnivore, Vertebrate, Small terrier, Terrier, Snout, Blond, Fur,
A life without laughter would be a bleak place indeed.

Like this? You'll love
Lauren Bacall quotes to live by
What is a female power list and why did Olivia Colman win?
More GH women and celebrity interviews
8

Success

Eyewear, Vision care, Glasses, Sleeve, Sunglasses, Outerwear, Coat, Style, Street fashion, Collar,
Sometimes it pays to say what you think.

Like this? You'll love
Lauren Bacall quotes to live by
What is a female power list and why did Olivia Colman win?
More GH women and celebrity interviews
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
9

Jogger

Mouth, Eye, Sleeve, Human body, Hand, Formal wear, Blazer, Pleased, Blond, Gesture,
Jogging isn't for everyone.

Like this? You'll love
Lauren Bacall quotes to live by
What is a female power list and why did Olivia Colman win?
More GH women and celebrity interviews
10

Beauty

Head, Human, Skin, Textile, Outerwear, Fur clothing, Fashion show, Style, Winter, Logo,
A life-long quest for beauty is a thankless task.

Like this? You'll love
Lauren Bacall quotes to live by
What is a female power list and why did Olivia Colman win?
More GH women and celebrity interviews
Watch Next 
Sleeve, Dress, Jewellery, Fashion accessory, Flooring, Logo, Blazer, Carpet, Premiere, Necklace,
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

Lifestyle

london, england november 27: stacey solomon attends the beauty awards 2023 at honourable artillery company on november 27, 2023 in london, england. (photo by kate green/getty images)

Stacey Solomon reveals letter to teenage self

sister boniface mysteries series 3 episode 3 professor y picture shows: (l r) lorna watson as sister boniface and mark heap as kirk fabricant

Sister Boniface Mysteries series 4 is on its way!

fx's say nothing pictured: lola petticrew as dolours price. cr: rob youngson/fx

Crime drama, Say Nothing, will leave you shaken

george at asda

Yasmin Le Bon on unspoken connection to lookalike daughter Amber

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
hotel portofino(c) eagle eye dramapictured: lucy akhurst as julia drummond wardnote to editors: usage rights:for britbox related editorial use only.if you use reproduce this image, you must specifically mention the programme in editorial copy and not reproduce simply to promote britbox as a platform. this is due to agreed usage rights by copyright owners.this image is under copyright and can only be reproduced for editorial purposes in your print or online publication. this image cannot be syndicated to any other third party.britbox press picture publicity enquiries to iwona.karbowska@itv.com

Hotel Portofino is The Durrells with more secrets

plate of haute cuisine food with steak and mash
Created by Oceania Cruises

Why an Oceania Cruise is the ultimate foodie break

imogen clawson as jenny alderson, nicholas ralph as james herriot, rachel shenton as helen herriot, tony pitts as richard alderson (unsure of kids but its rose (l) and jimmy (r))acgas6 20250304 day7 unit stills

All Creatures Great and Small gets refreshed cast

michelle keegan

Michelle Keegan makes “emotional” Brassic return

claudia winkleman traitors wardrobe

The Celebrity Traitors launch date is confirmed!

wayward. (l to r) toni collette, laura redman, and mae martin behind the scenes of episode 101 of wayward. cr. michael gibson/netflix © 2024.

Netflix thriller Wayward will have you transfixed

house of guinness

House of Guinness is Netflix’s “true” family drama

title:waterloo road s15,ep number:,tx date:11 02 2025,tx week:6,embargoed until:,people:lindsey coulson,description:,copyright:wall to wall / warner brothers tv production services ltd,credit line:bbc / wall to wall / warner brothers tv production services ltd

Waterloo Road returns for a "stronger" series 16

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below