The books that can help with grief and bereavement
Here are some books that help explore emotions of grief and bereavement.
Grief is an overpowering emotion and there are many ways to help process, understand and come to terms with grief. The NHS recommends a range of things that can help with processing a bereavement, including talking about your feelings, getting good sleep and seeking peer support. The NHS also recommends "self-help" style options, such as listening to wellbeing audio guides and making lifestyle changes.
Books are a great way to learn about and explore grief; "They help us understand our emotions by describing them and normalising what can feel disturbing," says psychotherapist and author Julia Samuel. Reading about other people's experiences, and reading advice from experts, can help you understand what your mind and body is experiencing and explore how to manage your grief.
"Books often tell different stories of people who are grieving and the reader can see themselves in those stories and feel less alone," said grief expert Julia. "I think it really can be helpful to buy a book for a friend, not as a fix, grief can’t be fixed, but as a way of supporting them."
Whether for yourself or for a loved one, we've selected some books that help explain, explore and understand the processes of grief and bereavement, including options for children, and Julia's recommendations.
For anyone who is struggling to deal with emotions of grief and bereavement, it is important to seek professional advice. Find out about receiving help through the NHS website here.
The Sunday Times bestseller is a compassionate and informative guide to grief with accessible and practical advice for rebuilding your life, and clear advice for those seeking to comfort others. It leads you through eight practical pillars of strength to help you on your path and features personal real-life stories.
Julia Samuel Collection (Every Family Has A Story, Grief Works, This Too Shall Pass)
You can also order a collection of Grief Works and two more of Julia's books, drawn from her career as a psychotherapist, one looking at generational family stories and one about getting through the difficult times in our lives.
Suddenly becoming a widow at 49, psychotherapist Sasha Bates offers a two perspective account on grief, from the depths of her agonising pain and from her therapist background;"From the depths of her confusion she gropes for ways to manage and bear the pain - by looking back at all that she has learnt from psychotherapeutic research, and from accepted grief theories, to help her make sense of her altered reality."
It explores how grief is different for everyone but that all feelings are ok, and offers methods of how to deal with them. She believes while it may not necessarily ease the grief, knowing the theories and vocabulary around grief can help you reflect.
A Grief Companion: Practical support and a guiding hand through the darkness of loss
A practical companion book Languages of Loss. It offers starting points to begin our journeys of managing grief, suggestions, resources, and with pages to explore and process feelings. Offering optimism and light; "Your grief will not leave you, but you will arrange yourself around it differently."
Addressing the non-linear nature of grief the book is split in to four sections, that can be read in any order - Mind, Body, Spirit and Everyday.
"Grief will change and grow and diminish and reappear, it will be with you forever, you will learn to build a life around it, to carry it. It will be ok, you will be ok. Somehow, you will be. You are not alone." This book is from hit podcaster Cariad Jones of Griefcast, a space where she explores the the emotion in ways she didn't get to when her father died when she was 15, and it was shrouded in taboo.
As a teenager Cathy Rentzenbrink's family was torn apart by an unthinkable tragedy. In this book she describes how she learnt to live with grief and loss and find joy in the world again. Exploring how to cope with life at its most difficult and overwhelming, knowing we may be forever changed, but still being able to find hope.
Another Sunday Times bestseller, this book is a deeply personal account of grief from the Reverend Richard Coles's, whose partner died suddenly, shortly before Christmas in 2019. Despite years of assisting his parishioners in life's moral questions, he now found he needed guidance himself. Talking about the unexpected parts of grief in this resonating memoir.
Right before Christmas 2003, Joan Didion and her husband of 40 years saw their only daughter fall ill, having to be put into a medically induced coma and on life support. Days later her husband suffered a massive and fatal coronary. Their daughter pulled through but months again collapsed and needed six hours of brain surgery.
This powerful book is Didion’s; "attempt to make sense of the weeks and then months that cut loose any fixed idea I ever had about death, about illness … about marriage and children and memory … about the shallowness of sanity, about life itself."
An intimate journal from Narnia author C.S. Lewis chronicling the aftermath of losing his beloved wife of just four yeas to cancer, finding himself alone, inconsolable in his grief. Covering; "a crisis of religious faith, navigating hope, rage, despair, and love - but eventually regains his bearings, finding his way back to life."
With contributions from Hilary Mantel, Jessica Martin, Jenna Bailey, Rowan Williams, Kate Saunders, Francis Spufford and Maureen Freely.
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