She seemingly has one of the strongest marriages in the music business, so when Good Housekeeping met Kitchen Disco icon and August cover star, Sophie Ellis Bextor, we turned to her for a bit of advice. And the secret, she shared, comes down to a crucial piece of wisdom that her mum, former Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellis, shared with her just after she got married to fellow musician Richard Jones.

“When we got married, we’d already had our first baby,” she says. “My mum said: ‘Make sure you always choose each other over anything else, even the kids." She was right. Even though the kids might roll their eyes if they see us hugging or whatever, they’re happy that we’re happy. And we have fun as a family, too. Last year, they came with us for a lot of the tour.”

"You have to choose each other over anything else"

Sophie was 22 when she met future husband Richard, who auditioned to be in her band Theaudience. It wasn’t until after their first tour together that something happened – and it did so very quickly, with Sophie discovering she was pregnant just six weeks after the pair got together. This year, they’ll be celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary.

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As with any marriage, there have been ups and downs, too. There was Covid, of course, and their relationship had to withstand one half appearing on Strictly Come Dancing, as Sophie did in 2013, making it to the final with partner Brendan Cole. She wrote in her 2021 book, Spinning Plates, that Richard struggled with feeling “left out in the cold” as she skyrocketed through the show.

Now, however, the pair appear to be as solid as ever, which is helped by the fact that Sophie’s mum lives around the corner in West London and is always on hand to help out with the kids. Sophie's eldest, Sonny, is 21. Then there’s Kit, 16, Ray, 13, Jesse, nine, and Mickey, six.

“We’re very close,’ says Sophie of her relationship with her mum. “[She’s] always been so good at encouraging me and giving me the toolkit I need to get out and do what I do. Raising a family alongside that is a constant thing.”

Now, Sonny actually lives with Janet, she also revealed. “He moved in when he was doing a foundation course at uni a year and a half ago,” says Sophie. “She lives 10 minutes away and was on her own, so they’ve got each other. It’s given him his own space, but also kept him close – he comes over all the time.”

"The kids are happy that we’re happy"

As for how work and touring fits into the equation, Sophie explained that it’s very much a family affair. Her brother, Jackson plays the drums, Richard, best known these days for his band The Feeling, is her bassist and musical director – and the kids, who fans will have seen on Sophie’s Instagram Live Kitchen Discos during the Covid lockdowns, come along on tour when work and school allow. Because, as Sophie says, the music must go on.

Read the full interview in Good Housekeeping UK’s August issue, on sale from Thursday 26th June.

Sophie’s album, Perimenopop, is released on 12th September. Visit ghmembers.co.uk to win tickets to Sophie’s album launch show at London KOKO on 8th September.