From challenging stereotypes to being a proud ‘girl dad’: What David Beckham teaches us about parenting as he turns 50

A happy birthday is in order for David Beckham, who is celebrating his milestone 50th this year. While the star has achieved huge success both on and off the football pitch – spanning everything from world cups to a whisky brand – it’s his family that’s his real pride and joy.

David and Victoria Beckham were the ‘it’ couple of the early 2000s, and have remained a reigning powerhouse, expanding into a family of six with their four children: Brooklyn, Romeo, Cruz and Harper. Only Harper still lives in the family home, and David has previously admitted that the thought of having an empty nest when she moves on is ‘actually painful’ for him.

In public, David has always been open about his love and pride for his kids, which Daniel Guinness, managing director of Beyond Equality (an organisation that promotes positive examples of masculinity), says embodies ‘a caring, supportive and emotionally present model of fatherhood.’ He adds that ‘when men show love, vulnerability and commitment as fathers, partners and family members, it challenges outdated stereotypes and sets a powerful example — especially for young people.’

While, of course, most dads won’t have access to the resources David has, ‘We can all be inspired by the genuine connection, interest and care he shows,’ says Daniel. ‘It’s a reminder that positive masculinities benefit not just our children, but all of us.’

We spoke to psychologist Dr Sheila Redfern (@reflective.parenting), author of How Do You Hug A Cactus? and Reflective Parenting to find out five lessons in parenthood we can all learn from David’s example.

1.Don’t be afraid to show affection

David Beckham is known for being openly affectionate with all of his children, and is regularly seen kissing and hugging them in public. According to Sheila, this demonstrates ‘sensitive and attuned parenting that leads to secure attachment’, and helps children with their ‘social, emotional and behavioural development’. And it’s not just physical affection that can have a positive effect on your children – expressing verbal affection is hugely beneficial for the same reasons, too.

2. Be a present father for your daughters, as much as for your sons

Harper Beckham is David and Victoria’s youngest child and the only girl, following three sons. Since her birth, David has been seen as a proud ‘girl dad’, with Harper accompanying her parents to various events even from a young age. Sheila explains that how a father treats his daughter acts as a template for future relationships. ‘David models being loving, physically affectionate and gentle with his daughter,’ she says. ‘This type of reliable, consistent parenting teaches a young person that other people are to be trusted, which helps them to feel secure in themselves and to build strong bonds with others.’

3. Take an active interest in what they love

As they’ve grown older, the Beckham children have taken up interests and careers of their own, from photography to cookery. Speaking to Men’s Health in February, David said, ‘My kids are all working hard and they all have passions, and that’s what’s important to me.’ For any milestones or important events surrounding each family member’s career, you can bank on David being a proud and supportive dad – and the whole gang frequently show up together.

Sheila explains that finding curiosity in what your children are interested in allows them to feel ‘mentalised’ by their parents. This means children feel understood and more closely connected. ‘Where children are mentalised, they’re then more empathic and understanding towards others,’ she says. ‘And in the parent-child relationship, there’s a trust, closeness and connection.’

4. Be open about your feelings

During interviews over the years and especially on his own social media, David Beckham publicly declares his love and pride for his children. For instance, in March, David shared a photograph pulling faces with his son Brooklyn, declaring that he ‘loved’ and ‘missed’ his son ‘so much’.

‘When David shows his feelings towards his children, he’s modelling the importance of being open about his emotions,’ says Sheila, which helps children form a secure attachment and develop their emotions, self-worth and confidence. “This offers children a resilience for life, in which life’s challenges are more easily negotiated.’

5. Be a positive role model for romantic relationships

As well as being openly supportive and affectionate with his children, David also shares his love and respect for their mum, Victoria. In April, for example, he wished a ‘happy birthday to the most amazing wife, mummy and best friend that we could all wish for’ in a public post. This makes him a strong role model as, ‘When parents are close, this gives children a huge amount of security right into adulthood,’ says Sheila. ‘David has always shown public support and pride in his wife, and this sets a great example to his children.’

6. Maintain quality time into adulthood

The Beckhams are often out in force, whether that’s sitting front row to support Victoria Beckham’s latest fashion show, or being away on a family holiday together – even with most of the children now grown-up. Sheila explains that maintaining a secure and stable family well, with quality time right into adulthood, means parents become a ‘safe harbour that children can return to’. When this happens, ‘they’re much more likely to have their own successful relationships and generally better mental health’.