From parenting pacts to family boundaries: 6 lessons from the Prince and Princess of Wales’ 14 year marriage

Congratulations are in order for the Prince and Princess of Wales as they celebrate 14 years of marriage on Tuesday (29 April). The couple, who met at University of St Andrews in 2001, confirmed their relationship after they were snapped kissing on the slopes of Switzerland.

Millions around the world watched their wedding in Westminster Abbey in 2011, before they famously shared not one but two kisses on the balcony.

A young Prince William and Kate at a rugby match in 2007.

Since their wedding day, the couple have proved a strong team in their roles as working royals, as parents to their three children (Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis) and during loss, health battles and more – all under intense public scrutiny.

While a royal partnership might not be the most relatable relationship dynamic, Will and Kate are navigating their relationship around the challenges of life, just like anyone else.

To mark this year’s anniversary, relationships coach Heather Garbutt shares what lessons we could all learn from Prince William and Princess Kate’s long marriage.

Be your partner’s safe space in hard times

In September last year, the Princess of Wales shared a video message confirming an ‘incredibly tough’ time for her family since undergoing preventative treatment for cancer, following an operation the January before. Supporting a partner through illness can be a delicate and difficult process, but it’s vital to be their safe space, says psychotherapist Heather.

‘Taking pressure off daily life, organising medical appointments and handling family logistics all helps practically,’ she says. ‘But most of all, it’s about emotional presence. Check in and listen without judgement, while reminding them they’re loved just as they are. Sometimes, just being there is the biggest support you can offer.’

Embrace each other’s families with patience (and boundaries)

There are few marriages as high profile as Kate and William’s, which comes with the job of being a working royal in line to the future throne. That said, every couple will be contending with wider family dynamics.

‘Joining two families is a beautiful idea in theory, but in reality, it can be complicated. You’re not just marrying a person, you’re marrying their history, their traditions and sometimes their drama,’ says Heather.

‘Navigating different backgrounds takes real respect, curiosity and patience,’ continues Heather. ‘You don’t have to love every family dynamic, but you do need to find healthy boundaries together as a couple, so you’re aligned.’

Make a pact to parent together, even when you disagree

The Prince and Princess of Wales’ three children, Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis, are often in the public eye at events. Memorably, the family of five all attended Queen Elizabeth II’s Platinum Jubilee Pageant in 2022. Prince Louis’ cheeky behaviour made headlines, with the couple and the wider family praised for how they handled the wriggly youngest royal.

‘Parenting can bring out the very best and the very worst in all of us, especially under public scrutiny,’ says Heather. ‘It’s important to present a united front, even when you might disagree behind closed doors. Agree your values and then back each other up so, when the inevitable meltdown happens, you can handle it together with patience and humour.’

Tell your partner you appreciate them

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For the Princess of Wales’ most recent birthday, Prince William shared a post on social media, describing Kate as ‘the most incredible wife and mother’. He went on to praise her strength and say how proud he was of her, and how much he and their children loved her.

‘Regular, heartfelt appreciation keeps love alive and strong,’ says Heather. ‘It’s so easy to stop saying the sweet things once life gets busy, but long-term relationships thrive on appreciation. It’s not enough to think your partner is wonderful – you must tell them, out loud and often.’

Keep your independence, particularly if you work together

As working royals, the Prince and Princess of Wales frequently work together and attend many official events and visits as a pair. However, they both have their own projects, such as Kate’s Early Years project and Prince William’s Earthshot Prize.

‘Working with your partner can be amazing, but it’s crucial to keep a sense of individuality; to have your own projects, passions and space where you’re not just the other half of the team,’ says Heather. ‘That independence makes the relationship stronger, as you can cheer each other on without feeling like you’re competing.’

Carve out family time

Prince William and Princess Kate make sure they step out of the limelight for private family holidays, such as their trip to Jordan in 2021.

‘Protecting private family time, like William and Kate do, is key. Uninterrupted time – no phones and no obligations – lets your family bond in a deep, real way. It’s so easy to get caught up in curated Instagram holidays where everyone looks perfect, but real connection happens when you ditch the performance and just be together,’ says Heather. ‘It doesn’t matter if the kids argue in the car or if someone forgets the suncream, the memories are what matter.’