For three years, Dr Lucy Gossage, 45, from Nottingham, thought she was in a healthy, committed relationship with her partner. They even ran a 268-mile ultramarathon together. But that was how it all fell apart…
Here, she shares the life lessons she learned from running – and winning – the Spine Race, an ultramarathon across the Pennines.
Deception can sneak up on anyone
A woman saw photos online of my ex and me running and got in touch. She’d been dating him, too, and it turned out he’d been lying to both of us – not just about the relationship, but about so much of his past and who he really was. As a doctor, I pride myself on being able to read people and to call out the nonsense. When I found out he’d been cheating on me and lying about who he was, I started to doubt myself – and everything we’d had together. I couldn’t stop asking: was any of that love real?
Getting to the start line is enough
That’s why I felt I had to run the same Montane Spine Race – all 268 miles of it – the following year. I needed closure. As it turned out, just getting to the start line felt like the start of something new. I realised I’d already done the hard work. I’d spent all year training my body for the race, but I’d also been processing what had happened so that when I started, I was already free – I was running for myself.
Being competitive doesn’t have to come at the expense of others
One of the greatest things to come out of the run was the community of women, of all ages and backgrounds, that I met along the way. We were there to run the race but we were all sharing with each other and exploring, becoming each other’s cheerleaders. It’s okay to be competitive but also to relish bringing each other together.
You’re stronger than you think – having a good cry is just proof
The pictures of me actually winning the race make it look as though I found it easy. It wasn’t. There were some really tough moments during the 87 hours and 40 odd minutes it took me. I only slept in brief bursts – once in a public loo – and on night three, I was in the middle of some woods and broke down crying. I don’t remember taking a video of it, but I’m glad I did because when I watched it back, it was a reminder that when no one could come and get me, I got myself out of that situation.
Being able to choose is a privilege
I’m an oncologist, so I know that being able to choose to do things like the Spine Race is a privilege. It’s the reason I co-founded the Move Against Cancer charity and I’m incredibly lucky that I could use my hobby to talk about something important. Running didn’t just bring me closure; it helped me find my joy again.
Visit moveagainstcancer.org
