Patsy Kensit on her frustration at how women are defined by their relationships

After a challenging few years, Patsy Kensit has found herself in a peaceful place, happily enjoying life as an empty nester with her dog Bowie. But if there’s one thing that still frustrates her, she says, it’s being defined by her former relationships.

Starring on the cover of Good Housekeeping’s April issue, Patsy opened up about why it’s a subject she feels strongly about. Asked if it’s annoying to be seen as the ex-wife of this or that rock star, rather than someone who’s acted in dozens of films and been a regular on Holby City and EastEnders, and whose 2008 episode of Who Do You Think You Are? remains one of the most-viewed in the show’s history, she gave a very candid answer that will speak to women everywhere.

"It’s only frustrating because we live in a very chauvinistic world. I understand why people want to ask [about exes]," she says. "I met Jane Asher once. She’s a very accomplished actress and what did I ask about? Her relationship with Paul McCartney when she was young. I was an idiot! You know, people think you’re made of Teflon."

Having dealt with her fair share of distress in the public eye, her friends, she explained, are the people who have helped her through it.

“Years ago, the media caught a few moments of chaos and fragility in my life and created a character who’s very weak and a bit distressed. It couldn’t be further from the truth,” she says. “My friends rallied round me during the past few years - they saved me. I love hanging out with them.”

It wasn’t always that way, however, she admitted. “[When I divorced I was] immediately dumped [by mutual friends] and men move on so quickly. I mean, literally in weeks, you know?” she says.

“But I have four great girlfriends: Grainne, Angela Radcliffe [a personal stylist], Brix Smith Start [once part of legendary band The Fall] and Elizabeth Hurley. Elizabeth and I did a movie [Kill Cruise] years ago and became really good friends. I don’t see her all the time, but when I do, it’s like I saw her the previous day. Grainne and Elizabeth are both godmothers to Lennon.”

During her marriage to Oasis’s Liam Gallagher, their relationship made many front covers and while Patsy once said - when she was young - that she wanted to be “more famous than anything and anyone”, she shared how she didn’t love being a plus-one in the hedonistic world of 1990s rock ’n’ roll.

“The 1990s were a golden time. It was really good fun. Sometimes too much fun, because you’d just feel crap the next day. I love rock ’n’ roll, and I’ll always have a naughty streak in me, but I’m way too polite for that world,” she says.

“We all have an ego, but I’m a little more in control of mine. I get uncomfortable with people who feel they must command a room, who say things without caring about who they hurt. As I say, I was pathologically polite and the whole energy of that time was, ‘F*ck you, I don’t care, I’m gonna get off my head tonight.’”

Fast forward a couple of decades and Patsy has found contentment living a quieter life. Her two sons, James and Lennon, have now left home and despite initially struggling with empty nest syndrome, she’s feeling excited about what’s next for her.

“I have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about this year. I’ve really conquered empty nest syndrome – and of course, the minute I let the boys go, I couldn’t get rid of them!” she says.

“I have work to look forward to. I have these amazing, brilliant friends. Why would I not be happy?”

Read the full interview in Good Housekeeping’s April issue on sale from Thursday 27^th February.