100+ hilarious Christmas jokes for kids and parents

Even with all the fun Christmas activities that come in December, sometimes the only thing better than baking Christmas treats, decorating the tree and sending out Christmas cards is simply curling up with a festive cocktail and sharing laughs with our loved ones.

And there's nothing that gets us giggling more than some seasonal humour and funny Christmas jokes that those of any age can enjoy — no matter how cringey they are.

In fact, we think the punnier, the better, and if you agree, then you won't be disappointed by this roundup of 100+ knock-knock jokes, puns and clever one-liners about everything from snowmen and candy canes to Father Christmas and Christmas trees.

Punny Christmas jokes

What did Frosty’s girlfriend give him when she was mad at him? The cold shoulder.
How did the reindeer learn to play piano? He was elf-taught.
What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? “Get out of my face.”
What do you call an old snowman? Water.
Why shouldn't you lend money to elves? They're always short.
Why are mummies such big fans of Christmas? Because they enjoy wrapping.
What is green, covered in Christmas lights and Christmas bulbs, and goes ribbit? A mistle-toad.
What is every parent's favourite Christmas song? Silent Night!
Why did Rudolph have to attend summer school? Because he went down in history.
How did Joseph and Mary weigh baby Jesus at birth? They had a weigh in the manger.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? "It's Christmas, Eve!"
Why did the scarecrow get a big Christmas bonus? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? “I’ll never part with it!”
Elves use what kind of money? Jingle bills.
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!
What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there's myrrh.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice crispies.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of elf-confidence.
Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much? She sleighs.
What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.
What is Santa's dog's name? Santa Paws!
Where do Santa's reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!
What’s every elf’s favourite type of music? Wrap!
What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-itis.
What do Santa's elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey — he’s always stuffed.

Santa Claus jokes

Who is Santa’s favorite actor? Willem Dafoe-ho-ho.
Where does Santa stay on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
What do you call Santa when he’s on a break? A Santa pause.
Which of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves? Dancer.
Where does Santa store his suit? In his Claus-et.
Where do Santa's elves go swimming? The North pool.
Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can “ho ho ho”!
What did the English teacher call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.
How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance? “Present!”
What's red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz!
How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm? His sleigh is flown by raindeer.
What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.
Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.
How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.
What was Santa's favourite subject in school? Chemis-tree!
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing — it was on the house!
What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.
What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backward!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
What’s Santa’s favourite fruit? (Sugar)plums.
Who’s Santa’s favourite singer? Elfish Presley.

Christmas tree jokes

How many Christmas trees can you plant in the ground? All of them.
What was the Christmas tree’s favourite subject in high school? Treegonometree!
What do Christmas trees wear at the pool? Trunks!
What do Christmas trees get when they go numb? Pines and needles!
Where do young trees learn to become Christmas tree? Elementree school!
Why didn’t the Christmas tree perform well on its algebra test? It got stumped by all the questions!
What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties? Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow…
What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather? Its shadow.
What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed? It started his own branch.
How do Christmas trees get their email? They log-on.
Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal!
What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm? May the forest be with you!
How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty!
How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up!
What was the Christmas tree’s favourite shape? A treeangle!
Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.
Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They have always drop their needles.
Who is a Christmas tree's favourite singer? Spruce Springsteen.
What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!
What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!

Christmas knock-knock jokes

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke at all those presents!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and open your gift!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey know how long it is until Santa gets here?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly…
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Santa. Santa who? Santa Christmas card to you, did you get it?
Knock, knock! Who's there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anna. Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow time to waste. It’s almost Christmas!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me if you hear Santa coming.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open til Christmas!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for Christmas cookies!

From: Good Housekeeping US