Pink strap marks. Scorched noses. Tanning tidemarks from an afternoon wearing sunglasses in the park… Whether it’s foolishly underestimating the UK’s UV count or deliberating skimping on the SPF in an attempt to speed-tan, nothing shines a light on our worst skincare habits quite like a British heatwave.
Yet it really doesn’t need to be this way. I write this after a glorious June day that began with a top-to-toe smothering of SPF30 on my pale skin and ended with the loveliest of garden tans. No singed shoulders, no crisp-baked skin and no sun damage. Say hello and amen to Green People’s new Glow & Protect SPF30, which combines a thorough broad-spectrum sunscreen with a twin-speed gradual tan for a guaranteed glow.
Oh, if only I had a time machine, this would be product number one in my carry-on.
I grew up in an era of competitive tanning, where my two best mates and I would park ourselves on the school field on any sunny lunchtime, hitch up our hemlines, roll up our sleeves, and pray to the sun gods to turn us into Sweet Valley High heroines.
By third break, both of them had neat Swatch outlines branded on to bronzed forearms, while I merely had the blotchy pallor of raspberry ripple ice-cream.
Biologically speaking, my skin doesn’t have the melanin makeup to ever tan, and that’s probably a blessing. No more holiday time wasted rotating rotisserie-style on a sun lounger, and no more hours spent tossing the dice of malignant melanoma. However, and I know this is ridiculous considering I have such a strong family history of skin cancer, a tiny part of me is still that 15-year-old sulking on a summer’s day. Dear diary, why doesn’t the sun want to kiss ME?
How to fake a real sun tan with Glow & Protect
Today, I’ve been doing my very best to shush her away with Green People’s new workaround, a sort of ‘get over yourself’ in a bottle. It goes on as a rich, creamy lotion that sinks in easily without a chalky cast. I used a tanning mitt to rub it in, as I didn't want to get orange hands.
The good news about this product is that it forces you to apply sunscreen liberally, which is the whole point of it. If you skimp, you’re going to sell yourself short on the glow as well as the sun protection. For extra convenience, it’s a formula that’s specifically designed to be used all over, so there’s no need to make a product substitution from the neck down.
I did wonder if it would be too rich to use on the face, but actually I found it nicely moisturising without clogging my pores. Green People says it’s been created with even the most delicate skin in mind, which presumably will be a boon for those who suffer with sun sensitivities. It's also enriched with hyaluronic acid and plant oils for an appreciable (and appreciated) smoothing effect.
It did lose a couple of points for the scent, which I suspect will be an acquired taste, being a distinctive mix of citrus-y essential oils and earthy patchouli. To my nose it’s more kitchen cleanser than spa aromatherapy, but at least it doesn’t reek of fake tan.
What are the results like?
I’ve tested pretty much every fake tan on the planet, and I’d say Green People Glow & Protect is one of the most believable. Not only is the colour itself convincing, it develops in real time like a natural sun tan, gently building throughout the day – except without the risk of burning.
For extra authenticity, it combines the usual self-tanning active, DHA, with a second type of faux glow, called erythrulose. The low-percentage DHA delivers an initial burst of gentle colour within eight hours, then the slower-acting erythrulose kicks in, giving a second wave of glow. This clever type of two-speed tanning means you get double benefits from every application, plus a longer-lasting fake tan.
I applied my first layer at 8am and started to see the first flickerings of a glow by lunchtime. With this being an SPF as well a gradual tan, I dutifully topped up for the afternoon, and returned to the garden for a lazy day, enjoying the heat.
I’m not somebody who enjoys sitting in direct sunlight anyway, and to ensure this really was a safe tan, I spent the day shade-bathing with a book. As the sun began to set, I could see a pleasing warmth to my skin tone, and I didn’t notice any tell-tale tanning odour.
By the following morning, my tan had developed a little further (thank you, erythrulose), but it was still completely convincing. No embarrassing Tango tans here.
I met some friends for breakfast and everyone assumed the colour was from a recent getaway in Italy. ‘You look really healthy!’ was the general consensus. Being a gradual tan, it’s also forgiving on dry spots like knees, hands and feet, although I did dilute it on those areas with regular SPF to pre-empt any problems.
The verdict
I'm totally sold on Glow & Protect SPF30, but let’s be real for a moment – it’s not for everyone. I’d say that this isn’t the product for anyone who insists upon baking on a beach: not because I doubt the reliability of the SPF but because there’s a risk of sweating, potentially causing uneven tanning results.
Also, hardcore sunbathers would need to top it up more frequently, from a protection point of view, which would either mean lugging around a tanning mitt or getting stained palms. (And, let’s face it, those people would be more interested in a natural tan than faking it anyway.)
However, if you’re somebody who wants to enjoy the sunshine in moderation, and get a lovely, far safer glow at the end of it, this is an excellent option. You can also continue to build it day by day, if you want that ‘week in Marbella’ effect. For anyone who feels short-changed by their hard-to-tan genetics, it’s a sunny delight.
Essentially, it’s a genius way to emulate the experience of getting a real tan on a summer's day day, all the while swerving the sun damage. And if you choose not to tell anyone your secret? I won’t tell if you don’t.
