45 Longtime Couples Share the Marriage Tip That's Kept Them Together

"Whenever we're working on something, we make it a point to ask the other person,'Can I help?' It's so simple, but often people assume that their spouse will automatically know what they need. You have to say it. It's hard to feel resentful towards the other if you start the conversation with those words." —Mike and Colleen Dollar, married 14 years, LaGrange, GA

"We've discovered it's important to have independent hobbies and the freedom to do them without pressure or guilt from your spouse." —Tess and John Hohman, married 22 years, Minneapolis, MN

"We always back each other up with decisions made for the kids and present a united front. Our kids learned a long time ago not to go to the other parent saying that he/she said it was okay." —David and Cindy Paul, married 22 years, Las Vegas, NV

"How to share the household work is a hot button issue for many couples. We decided to figure out the day-to-day tasks the other absolutely hates to do and then swap them. If your spouse does the chore that makes you a complete pile of misery, you'll appreciate it (and him!) even more." —Angie and Eric Whitehead, married 21 years, Baltimore, MD

"I never let my husband leave the house without a kiss and an 'I love you.' Life has no guarantees and he might not come home again. This also puts lots of little annoyances in perspective. For instance, when his snoring bugs me, I remind myself that it means he's alive, he's home, and he's with me." —Dave and Lisa Gunn, married 31 years, Westminster, CO

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“Love, gratitude, compassion, because sometimes every man or every woman will drive their partner crazy. Family. Fun. Laughs. Sex. If you don’t nurture that, and remember, you’re done.” —Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, together for 36 years.

"It's a given that you should always look for ways to serve one another, but the trick is to do it without any expectations. We do it because we love each other, not because we expect something in return." —Jason and Myndie Krause, married 12 years, Tallahassee, FL

"Do whatever it takes to keep the lines of communication open. When talking doesn't work, send them an email, a text, or even a letter." —Clint and Michelle Larson, married 26 years, Parker, CO

"Don't stop doing the little things you did together when you first started dating. We loved dancing and now we still make time to dance together, even if it's just in the kitchen while we're making dinner. It doesn't hurt we live in wine country!" —Lynda and Jeremy Benson, married 22 years, Sonoma, CA

"Our secret to a happy marriage? Two words: separate bathrooms." —Alex and Rose DeMarco, married 13 years, Woodbury, MN

"Everyone disagrees sometimes but no matter how heated things get, we never ever call each other names. It keeps a basic level of respect present." —Leah and Carson Kinney, married 15 years, Apple Valley, MN

"Take every opportunity to touch each other, hold hands, snuggle, and get physical. It helps keep you bonded and you'll feel better, thanks to the oxytocin rush!" —Josh and Kerri Saterfield, married 14 years, Horseshoe Bend, ID

"A key to our marriage has been learning when to back off and give the other one some space. During an argument, you eventually reach a point where the best thing is just to walk away and cool off. If you keep pushing, it leads to an explosion." —Colby and Kristen Morgan, married 21 years, Atoka, OK

"Since our children were infants, our family has watched the kids so we could have date night every Friday night. Everyone, even our friends, know date night is Friday and that date night cannot be disturbed. This gives us a chance to reset whatever madness happened during the week (and there is always plenty!). This has become the glue that keeps us together." —Christie and Evan O'Sullivan, married 13 years, Safety Harbor, Florida

“Personally, in my journey, what I had to realize was that I had to find all the peace, love and joy within my heart in order to bring it to the table to share." —Jada Pinkett and Will Smith, married 22 years

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"When you first get married, it's easy to start thinking of yourself as simply one half of a couple. But it's important to remain an individual as much as you are a sum of the equation. After all, that's what attracted your spouse to you to begin with!" —Julie and JP Foreman, married 22 years, Minneapolis, MN

"It's as important to spend time apart as it is together. This gives each of us a chance to regroup and think and get some of our own things done. Then when we're together, we can really focus on each other. Works for us!" —Liza and Angelo Geonie, married 12 years, Northport, NY

"Be one another's best and biggest cheerleader in whatever you are doing. And never say unkind things about him behind his back." Jenny and Tyler Ford, married 22 years, Salt Lake, UT

"Stress is often the source of contention, and it's easy to blame your spouse or something they did. Instead, recognize what's really bothering you and try not to take it out on them." —Bill and Gina Nelson, married 32 years, Lakeville, MN

"Don't ever laugh at your spouse. But find plenty of opportunities to laugh together. Don't take life too seriously; challenges seem much more manageable when you have a partner to laugh with." —Joy and Dave McKinnon, married 34 years, Boise, ID