The 10 Worst Etiquette Mistakes You Can Make at a Wedding

We all know accidents can happen at the most inopportune times: Your car is out of gas, the kids won’t behave, traffic is a mile long and so on. But when it comes to weddings, even the most chronically tardy person needs to prepare to be on time. “The most gracious guests are the ones who show up on time, stay present, and honor the moment with quiet elegance,” says Velez. Late entrances are distracting, not to mention rude.

Many wedding ceremonies are held in sacred spaces. As such, etiquette consultant and founder of Etiquette Expert Jo Hayes says guests should demonstrate respect by being quiet in such spaces.

“Soft, discreet conversation is usually permissible in the minutes prior to a wedding mass, but loud conversations are to be avoided,” says Hayes. And no matter where the ceremony is held, experts agree no conversation should ever occur during the actual ceremony.

We should all know to turn our phones on silent (or completely off) during occasions like weddings. However, people still seem to forget and cause a disruption at the worst times.

If the happy couple allows it, it's okay to snap a few discreet photos during the ceremony. However, Hayes says, guests should keep it unobtrusive and allow the official photographer to do their job so as not to distract other guests. And if the couple requests a phone-free ceremony, listen to their wishes.

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It’s an honor to be asked to be part of the wedding party, but it comes with a lot of responsibility. Experts say you are committing a major etiquette mistake if you don't take those responsibilities seriously, whether that’s ignoring requests, not following schedules or even leaving the bride to fend for herself on the big day.

Instead, wedding party members should always stay positive and make the day all about the people getting married — not about themselves.

Another common etiquette mistake, Velez says, is guests moving or swapping seats at the reception. While it might seem like a relatively innocent thing to do, there are reasons why seating charts are pored over.

Remember months ago when you were asked to choose between chicken or fish (or the vegetarian dish)? Switching seats can cause someone to end up with the wrong meal — or even no meal at all. It's fine to move around later in the evening, but stick with your own seat for dinner.

Nobody likes the overly drunk guest ruining the party, whether it’s someone stumbling on the dance floor or making an inappropriate comment.

“An open bar tab does not mean a free-for-all,” reminds Hayes. She advises guests (and party members) to know their limits. Drink lots of water and make sure to eat before imbibing in order to remain in control of your behavior throughout the evening.

Experts advise against jumping in with any impromptu speeches unless you’ve actually been asked to give one or there’s an open mic presented to you.

“While the reception is meant to be a celebration, it’s still important to respect the couple’s timeline and the thoughtful design behind it,” says Velez.

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Most times, the bride or groom will ask you in advance to prepare a speech. Experts say this means you’ll want to make sure it’s something appropriate for the entire wedding party, as well as all the guests.

What “appropriate” means can vary from group to group, of course. If there are kids present, you’ll definitely want to keep it as clean as possible. Overall, Hayes says avoid suggestive innuendo, embarrassing topics or anything too controversial.

Gifts are generally expected at weddings. Luckily, most couples will let you know in advance what they want. Registries have taken the hassle out of guess work and ensure couples get exactly what they request to start their lives together.

Experts say straying from the registry is a definite faux pas as you risk gifting something that the couple won’t like, don't need or will end up returning or giving away.

Even if you’re struggling financially, it’s usually possible to arrange at least a small gift for the couple. In fact, most couples will include gifts at a variety of price points in their registry. While the $300 espresso maker might not be an option, maybe the $20 blanket is.

Another option? “Consider pooling funds with other wedding attendees to buy something on the registry, or to pool as one collective cash gift,” suggests Hayes.

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