52 Funny Coffee Quotes That Will Go Great With Your Cup of Joe
These short sayings and one-liners are the perfect pick-me-up for any day of the week.
That first sip of coffee in the morning has the power to transform you from a sleep-deprived zombie to a chipper morning person, ready to take on the day. A perfectly brewed latte, homemade espresso or cold brew can also provide the very best Monday motivation to help you power through the start of the workweek. So if you happen to be a coffee lover that can identify with the truly magical nature of a good cup of Joe, then chances are you’ll find these hilariously funny coffee quotes to be very relatable.
Whether you’re a fan of iced coffee, are a Starbucks regular or like to be adventurous with your java order and love trying out something new (you know, like these subscription boxes), our list of one-liners, sarcastic humor and short phrases are sure to make you laugh. The best part is that these funny coffee quotes can be inspirational sayings for any day of the week: Sunday through Saturday.
Be sure to share these quotes on Instagram with a photo of your latest cup of instant coffee, served up in one of these funny coffee mugs, of course.
Abigail Reynolds
I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.
Burt Lancaster
I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.
Cher
You make good coffee... you're a slob, but you make good coffee.
Unknown
Decaf? No, it's dangerous to dilute my caffeine.
Unknown
I don't drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink coffee.
Henry Rollins
Three cups of coffee a day keeps the doctor away!
Unknown
Coffee, because adulting is hard.
Sheik Abd Al Kadir
Coffee is the common man's gold, and like gold, it brings to every person the feeling of luxury and nobility.
Thomas Jefferson
Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.
Gord Downie
Life's too short for bad coffee.
Unknown
My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.
Unknown
Seven days without coffee makes one WEAK.
Alphonse Allais
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
Unknown
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another coffee.
Ronald Reagan
I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.
Leanna Renee Hieber
Coffee first. Schemes later.
Unknown
Humanity runs on coffee.
David Lynch
But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.
Henry Rollins
What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup.
Unknown
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
Selena is the entertainment and news editor for Good Housekeeping, where she covers the latest on TV, movies and celebrities. In addition to writing and editing entertainment news, she also spotlights the Hispanic and Latinx community through her work. She is a graduate of CUNY Hunter College with a B.A. in journalism and creative writing.
Cameron (she/her) is a staff writer for Good Housekeeping, where she covers everything from holidays to food. She is a graduate of Syracuse University, where she received a B.A. in magazine journalism. In her spare-time she can be found scrolling TikTok for the latest cleaning hacks and restaurant openings, binge-watching seasons of Project Runway or online shopping.
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