The Absolute Rudest Things You Can Do at a Wedding

Yes, being punctual is polite, but arriving to the ceremony more than 30 minutes early can get in the way of final touches and ultimately cause more stress for the couple. "It's better to wait in your car than go into the venue and risk stressing out the bride by seeing her before the ceremony," says the founder of Perfectly Posh Events, Holly Patton Olsen.

The general rule of thumb for arriving to the ceremony is that you should be in your seat 10 minutes before it is supposed to start. "Walking in as the bride (or groom) is walking down the aisle in incredibly rude and ruins video and photos that are being taken," shares Brand Hamerstone, owner of All Events Planned.

If you don't know what the bridesmaids dresses look like, this faux pas may be unavoidable. If you do know, steer clear of their color palette. "If a guest knows what the wedding party is wearing, it's appropriate to avoid looking as if she (or he) is part of the group," says Chertoff. Sidestep the exact same color or silhouettes to be respectful and help keep the bridal party distinguished.

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Grabbing a beer at an open bar? Totally fine. An entire bottle of champagne (or something harder)? Definitely not okay. "The last thing you want is to be the main topic of your friend's wedding conversation," says Gottsman. Keep it classy and let the waiter or bartender do the pouring.

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It's an unspoken rule that wedding guests are allowed to take the floral centerpieces on the dining tables. That doesn't mean vases are up for grabs, however. "You don't want the couple to end up with a bill for your lapse of judgement," says Spiegel.

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Being too forceful during this tradition simply isn't a good look. "You don't want to appear overly eager, nor do you want to come across as if you are catching a pass on the football field," says national etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, author of Modern Etiquette for a Better Life and founder of The Protocol School of Texas. "Allow the bouquet to land naturally in the direction which it is tossed, without any pushing or shoving — for the sake of appearance and civility."

Between enjoying their special day and making sure that guests are having a good time, the newlyweds have enough to worry about. "If something's gone wrong during the wedding, do not point it out to the couple or their immediate family members," says Josh Spiegel, Creative Director and President of Birch Event Design. "You don't want to add any stress or frustration during the big day." If you can't stop thinking about the issue at hand, notify the venue staff.

If you've checked yes to "chicken" or "fish" on the invitation, changing your mind last-minute throws off the balance. One exception? If you learn that there's an ingredient in your choice that you're allergic to, in which case "politely asking to switch from fish to chicken may be appropriate," says Gottsman. In any other situation, go with your original choice.

Speaking of dinner, complaining about the food is flat-out rude. (And, truth be told, a bit tired.) "You will appear boorish and ill-mannered. Keep your opinions to yourself and be grateful you are included in the couple's special day," advises Gottsman. Even if it's not a five-star gourmet meal, appreciate that the couple has likely invested quite a bit in the dinner — and it's not about the food, anyway.

As peak wedding season winds down, it's natural that your excitement to attend yet another wedding does, too. "Once you've made the commitment to go to a wedding, no matter how many weddings you attended that last month, and no matter how badly you were inconvenienced by the timing, be excited and give it your all," Spiegel tells us. Think about it this way: You wouldn't want to witness someone sulking on your special day, would ya?

If you're in a tough spot in your own love life, weddings can bring up some not-so-happy feelings. But getting overly emotional (especially after a few glasses of champagne) isn't okay. If something comes up, "Remove yourself from the situation until you can gain your composure," suggests Gottsman.

If getting upset sounds inevitable, consider politely declining your invitation. "If you are going through a rocky divorce, it may be in your emotional best interest to sit this one out," she adds.

If a wedding invitation says "black tie optional," showing up in a sundress and sandals simply isn't appropriate — nor is showing up in a ball gown for a casual wedding. Do your best to stick to the dress code. This is especially important if there are religious reasons involved. For example: "If the ceremony is in a house of worship that requires covered shoulders," says Anne Chertoff, wedding etiquette trainer at Beaumont Etiquette.

First of all, if you RSVP'd "yes" and don't feel like going anymore, that's not a good reason to skip. But emergencies happen, and if you can no longer attend, it's important to tell someone. Chertoff says if it's before the wedding day, you can let the couple know directly. But if it's on their wedding day, connect with a parent of the couple or a member of the wedding party to relay the message and apologies.

Chances are, the couple won't know you've left your wedding favor behind, but it's still polite to take it with you if you're on the fence (it's technically a gift, after all). On the flip side? Don't try and reclaim one if you forgot. "It's possible that the couple has a few extra favors at home that a guest could pick up, but in most instances, a guest shouldn't attempt to track one down," says Chertoff.

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At, say, a 300-person wedding, it's not unfathomable that the happy couple wouldn't have time to speak with every guest. But it's important to at least try to say hello, goodbye, or congrats. (Except when they're enjoying their dinner, that is.) "If a guest didn't get a moment with the couple, he or she can reach out the day after via phone or email to wish them congratulations and tell them what a lovely time they had at the wedding," suggests Chertoff.

If you're given a plus one on your invite, go ahead and RSVP for two. But if you RSVP'd for one and find yourself with a new fling as the wedding date draws nearer, it's best to stick with your solo plan. "It can throw the count off for food and beverage and guest party favors," explains Elaine Swann, founder of The Swann School of Protocol.

The background music to "I do" shouldn't be your ringtone. But if your phone does go off, there's only one way to handle it, according to Swann: "Simply locate your device, turn it off quickly, and turn your attention and your focus back to the ceremony. This will cause others to do the same."

Even worse: the text is asking for details or advice. "This is a very big day for them with lots of moving parts, and they should be left alone to enjoy their day," says Swann. Already hit send? "Once you recognize your mistake, send another text message and let them know that you'll get assistance or help or an answer from someone else."

Apart from the occasional (and very quiet) "aww," talking during the ceremony is simply not okay. It should go without saying, but save your personal comments for after the wedding.

Regardless of your own beliefs, it's important to respect the couple's choices on such a sacred day. "When you refuse to participate in or respect religious rituals during the ceremony it can offend not only the bride and groom, but also their family members," says Swann.

"It is important, however, to remain committed to your own personal faith, and if their religious rituals contradict your faith the best way to handle it is to bow out gracefully by either remaining silent or passing on whatever the ritual is, but don't make a fuss of it," she adds.