75 Best Valentine's Day Jokes for All of Your Funny Valentines
Share these hilarious puns and funny one-liners with the people you love most.
Valentine’s Day means some serious romance. Heartfelt declarations of love, thoughtful gifts, expensive dinners…if that’s not usually your style, it can all feel a bit dramatic. Instead, if you or your love are a connoisseur of dad jokes or corny puns, your love language might be something a bit sillier. These adorable Valentine’s Day jokes are a funny but super sweet way to celebrate love without being quite so serious! They make a great message for Valentine’s Day cards to friends and family members, or can even be used as quirky Valentine’s Day captions for social media. Slip these hilariously heartfelt jokes in a kid’s lunchbox or text them to a friend for a smile and eye roll that lets them know you love them.
Where do you find love in a grocery store?
Aisle B… there for you.
How do vampires know if they had a successful Valentine's Day?
If it's love at first bite.
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Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
No, they had an apple.
What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium?
Guppy love.
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What did the man say to his banker on February 14?
“You’ve caught my interest.”
What did the painter tell his girlfriend?
“I love you with all my art.”
Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
He’ll dessert you.
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."
What did the gardener say to their date?
"I dig you."
What's Cupid's favorite band?
Kiss!
What did the cucumber say to the pickle?
"You mean a great dill to me."
What did the scientist say to her Valentine?
“I think of you periodically.”
What did one plate say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“Tonight, dinner’s on me.”
What did the romantic sing after she got a paper cut?
“I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love.”
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
“I love you a ton.”
What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine's Day?
"You're purr-fect."
What did one sheep say to the other on February 14?
"I love ewe."
What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
"You're one in a melon!"
What did one triangle say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re acute.”
Why are my feet cold on Valentine’s Day?
Because you knocked my socks off.
Sarah Vincent (she/her) covers the latest and greatest in books and all things pets for Good Housekeeping. She double majored in Creative Writing and Criminal Justice at Loyola University Chicago, where she sat in the front row for every basketball game. In her spare time, she loves cooking, crafting, studying Japanese, and, of course, reading.
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