75 Best Thanksgiving Jokes to Whip Out If Your Family Starts Getting Hangry
Share these witty one-liners and funny puns to get both the kids and adults laughing.
As fun as holidays can be, they can also be super stressful. Even if you aren't the one making all the Thanksgiving dinner sides and delicious pies, Turkey Day can be overwhelming. That's why when tensions run high — which can easily happen when people start to get "hangry" — you can't go wrong breaking out Thanksgiving jokes to lighten the mood and get everyone giggling. No matter how old you are, kids and adults can't resist a witty one-liner about pumpkin pie, a punny knock-knock joke about food or a corny Dad joke that pokes at the holiday.
Use these funny Thanksgiving jokes as an icebreaker for your new guests or write out a bunch on slips of paper for the younger ones to keep them busy. If they're really young at heart, you can always opt for the super kid-friendly jokes on this list. And who knows — a few of them might just make the perfect Thanksgiving Instagram caption to pair with your dinner plate photo or selfie with your favorite cousin. The possibilities are endless with these turkey jokes for the whole family.
What’s the best way to fix a broken pumpkin?
Use a pumpkin patch.
Why did the cranberry blush?
It saw the turkey dressing.
What do you need to make Thanksgiving s'mores?
Pil-grahams.
What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham?
Nice to meat you.
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What's blue and covered in feathers?
A turkey holding its breath.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who? Norma Lee I don't eat this much.
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What did the ocean say when it saw the Mayflower crossing?
Nothing. It just waved.
Did you hear about the turkey that plays baseball?
He covers first baste.
If Pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?
Scholar ships.
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What did the pilgrim wear to dinner?
A (har)vest.
What’s a pilgrim’s favorite dance?
The turkey trot.
Why do pilgrims' pants always fall down?
Because they wear their buckles on their hats!
What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler!
Did you hear the one about the rude turkey?
It was jerk-y.
What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace?
"Grace."
Where did the Pilgrims stand after landing on Plymouth Rock?
On their feet.
What do you call rain on Turkey Day?
Fowl weather.
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
Why was the turkey asked to join a band?
He could bring his own drumsticks.
When are turkeys the most grateful?
The day after Thanksgiving.
Larry Stansbury is a writer whose work has appeared in POPSUGAR, Sports Illustrated, Her Campus, Distractify and more. He covers a wide range of topics, including entertainment, lifestyle and sports. Larry graduated with a B.A. in writing and rhetoric from Syracuse University in 2018. When he’s not writing, he is either working out, eating carbs or dancing to the next Little Mix song.
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