There’s no doubt that motherhood is one of the most important jobs on the planet. But if we’re being honest, it’s also the source of plenty of material for jokes. And in fact, laughter is essential for getting through the sprint of each day — and the marathon of lifelong motherhood!
Our collection of Mother’s Day jokes is perfect fodder for Mother's Day Instagram captions and Mother's Day card sentiments — or swapping with your circle of moms (and mother figures) the old-fashioned way: face to face, so you can see their smiles. Comb through our list to pull out your favorite knock-knock jokes, tongue-in-cheek jokes, and completely clean wordplay and puns, plus quips from favorite celebrity moms.
Sweet Mother's Day Jokes
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you, Mom! Happy Mother's Day!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Adore. Adore who? Adore you, Mommy!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Llama. Llama who? Llama Llama, I love my mama!
- What did the panda give his mommy? A bear hug.
- How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late? Use the moooooote button.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana give you a kiss for Mother’s Day!
- What did the mommy spider say to the Baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin! Justin who? Justin time to say Happy Mother’s Day!
- Roses are red, violets are blue. My mom’s jokes are funnier than you.
- Why did the kids give their mom a blanket for Mother's Day? Because she was the coolest mom ever!
Mother's Day Jokes About Food
- What did the grape say to its mom? "You did a grape job raisin me!"
- What kind of candy do moms love for Mother’s Day? Her-she’s Kisses.
- Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long!
- Why did the Mother’s Day gift arrive the day after Mother’s Day? It was choco-LATE
- Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants? No? Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!
- "It’s spicy” is a universal mom code for “I don’t want to share."
- What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s Pop-corn?
- Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Omelet? Omelet who? Omelet Mommy sleep in today.
- At my age I’m no longer a snack; I’m a Happy Meal. I come with toys and kids.
Mother's Day Nature-Inspired Jokes
- Who do flowers celebrate on Mother’s Day? Their chrysanthemums.
- When are lotuses, tulips and roses red? When your garden is on fire.
- What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day? Mums.
- What did the tree tell her son before a big game? I’m rooting for you.
- Don’t wake up, Mom! There are at least seven species that eat their young. Your mom may be one of them.
- Why was the mother firefly so happy? Because her children were all so bright.
- Why does the mom kangaroo hate rainy days? Because the kids have to play inside.
Jokes About Motherhood
- Motherhood has shown me that you don’t need fun to have alcohol.
- Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
- Ever heard of a job that requires no experience, gives no training, pays nothing and you can’t quit? That’s motherhood. Oh, and people’s lives are on the line.
- Motherhood taught me just how far I can let myself go and still be okay with it.
- Moms don’t wish they could sleep like a baby. They wish they could sleep like a dad.
- What’s the fastest land mammal? A toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
- Showering as a mom should be an Olympic sport: Everyone’s yelling your name, you have to beat the clock, and you rarely win a medal.
- Have you heard the urban legend about what happens when you scream “Mom” three times in the shower? A nice lady appears with the towel you forgot.
- I hate when I’m waiting for Mom to cook dinner—and then I remember I am Mom.
- What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.
- Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
- You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold.
- My kids asked me what it was like to be a mom. So, I woke them up at 3 a.m. demanding to know where my lucky sock was.
Mother's Day Puns
- Why is a computer so smart? It listens to its motherboard.
- What did the mother rope say to her child? Don’t be knotty.
- What did the digital clock say to its mother? “Look, Ma! No hands!"
- Everything you do is so mom point.
- What sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars.
- Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili.
- Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.
- Where do baby Transformers come from? Opti-Mom Prime.
- What do you call a petite mother? Minimum.
Mother's Day Jokes From Celebrities
- "It's not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it." —Betty White
- "When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you." —Nora Ephron
- "I always say if you aren't yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them." —Reese Witherspoon
- "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." —Phyllis Diller
- "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." —Erma Bombeck
Annie O’Sullivan (she/her) covers holiday, gift guide, travel, and lifestyle content at Good Housekeeping. She has a degree in magazine journalism from Syracuse University and previously reported for Runner’s World, NBC New York/NY 4 and Woman’s Day. Annie also has experience writing entertainment news and celebrity-focused content.
Alesandra is a digital travel and lifestyle journalist based in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in Good Housekeeping, Woman’s Day, Prevention, Insider, Glamour, Shondaland, AFAR, Parents, TODAY, and countless other online and print outlets. Alesandra has a masters degree in journalism with an emphasis on cultural reporting and criticism from NYU, and a bachelor’s degree from UC Berkeley. An avid traveler, she trots the globe with her husband and their twins.
