Even with all the fun Christmas activities that come in December, sometimes the only thing better than baking Christmas treats, decorating the tree and sending out Christmas cards is simply curling up with a festive cocktail and sharing laughs with our loved ones. And nothing quite gets us giggling more than seasonal humor and funny Christmas jokes that folks of any age can enjoy — no matter how corny they are. In fact, we think the punnier, the better, and if you agree, then you won't be disappointed by this roundup of 100+ knock-knock jokes, puns and clever one-liners about everything from snowmen and candy canes to Santa Claus and Christmas trees.
Spend time scrolling the list and sharing your favorite short jokes out loud or text a few of the funniest ones to someone who needs a little boost to their mood — heck, even add it as a caption to any of the holiday photos you post on social media. And when you're done having a giggle fest for the evening, settle in for the night and cue up your favorite Christmas movies as a way to finish off the end of a perfect wintry day.
Punny Christmas Jokes
- What did Frosty’s girlfriend give him when she was mad at him? The cold shoulder.
- What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs? Candy canes.
- Why is everyone thirsty at the North Pole? No well.
- What do donkeys send out near Christmas? Mule-tide greetings.
- How did the reindeer learn to play piano? He was elf-taught.
- What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? “Get out of my face.”
- What do you call an old snowman? Water.
- Why shouldn't you lend money to elves? They're always short
- Why did the Little Drummer Boy put his drum to bed? It was beat.
- Why are mummies such big fans of Christmas? Because they enjoy wrapping.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- What is green, covered in Christmas lights and Christmas bulbs, and goes ribbit? A mistle-toad.
- How do sheep say Merry Christmas to each other? Fleece Navidad.
- What is every parent's favorite Christmas song? Silent Night!
- Why did Rudolph have to attend summer school? Because he went down in history.
- How did Joseph and Mary weigh baby Jesus at birth? They had a weigh in the manger.
- Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him!
- What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? "It's Christmas, Eve!"
- Why did the scarecrow get a big Christmas bonus? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas? “I’ll never part with it!”
- What is a vegan's favorite Christmas song? Soy to the World!
- Elves use what kind of money? Jingle bills.
- What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days!
- What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
- What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense? Wait, there's myrrh.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
- What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
- What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice crispies.
- How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.
- What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa's workshop? A rebel without a Claus!
- What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo!
- What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
- Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of elf-confidence.
- Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much? She sleighs.
- What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
- What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.
- What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station.
- What is Santa's dog's name? Santa Paws!
- Where do Santa's reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!
- What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
- What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can’t beat it!
- What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
- What do Santa's elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
- What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
- What do grapes sing at Christmas? 'Tis the season to be jelly.
- What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
- What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
- Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey — he’s always stuffed.
Santa Claus Jokes
- Who does Santa call when his sleigh breaks down? The Abominable Towman.
- Who is Santa’s favorite actor? Willem Dafoe-ho-ho.
- Why did Santa have to go to the hospital? Because of his poor elf.
- Where does Santa stay on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
- What do you call Santa when he’s on a break? A Santa pause.
- Which of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves? Dancer.
- Where does Santa store his suit? In his Claus-et.
- What did the ocean say when Santa flew over? Nothing. It just waved.
- Where do Santa's elves go swimming? The North pool.
- What kind of motorcycle does Santa drive? A Holly Davidson!
- Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can “ho ho ho”!
- What did the soccer announcer who made the naughty list get from Santa Claus? COOOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL!
- What did the English teacher call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
- Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.
- How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance? “Present!”
- What's red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz!
- How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm? His sleigh is flown by raindeer.
- What's Santa Claus's favorite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!
- What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.
- Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
- What is Santa's favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.
- How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer.
- How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.
- What was Santa's favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!
- How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing — it was on the house!
- What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.
- What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backward!
- What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
- Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
- What’s Santa’s favorite fruit? (Sugar)plums.
- Who’s Santa’s favorite singer? Elfish Presley.
Christmas Tree Jokes
- How many Christmas trees can you plant in the ground? All of them.
- What was the Christmas tree’s favorite subject in high school? Treegonometree!
- What do Christmas trees wear at the pool? Trunks!
- What do Christmas trees get when they go numb? Pines and needles!
- Where do young trees learn to become Christmas trees Elementree school!
- Why didn’t the Christmas tree perform well on its algebra test? It got stumped by all the questions!
- Which former president planted the most Christmas trees? Wood-row Wilson.
- What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties? Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow…
- What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather? Its shadow.
- What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed? It started his own branch.
- How do Christmas trees get their email? They log-on.
- Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal!
- What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm? May the forest be with you!
- How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty!
- How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up!
- What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape? A treeangle!
- What is a Christmas tree's favorite candy? Orna-mints!
- Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.
- What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping!
- Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They have always drop their needles.
- Who is a Christmas tree's favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen.
- What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!
- What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad? A pineApple!
- What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!
- What month does a Christmas tree hate the most? Sep-timber!
Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Yah. Yah who? Wow, you’re really excited about Christmas!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to sing Christmas carols with me?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Alaska. Alaska who? Alaska again. What do you want for Christmas?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke at all those presents!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and open your gift!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey know how long it is until Santa gets here?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wayne. Wayne who? Wayne in a manger…
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Chris. Chris who? Christmas is here!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive Christmastime, don’t you?
- Knock, knock Who’s there? Honda. Honda who? Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly…
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Santa. Santa who? Santa Christmas card to you, did you get it?
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Elf. Elf who? Elf me wrap this present for Santa!
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Interrupting Santa. Inter– Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anna. Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow time to waste. It’s almost Christmas!
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Coal. Coal who? Coal me if you hear Santa coming.
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Donut. Donut who? Donut open til Christmas!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for Christmas cookies!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Christmas!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ho Ho. Ho Ho who? Your Santa impression needs a little work!
Cameron Jenkins
Staff Writer
Cameron (she/her) is a staff writer for Good Housekeeping, where she covers everything from holidays to food. She is a graduate of Syracuse University, where she received a B.A. in magazine journalism. In her spare-time she can be found scrolling TikTok for the latest cleaning hacks and restaurant openings, binge-watching seasons of Project Runway or online shopping.
Annie O’Sullivan
Assistant Editor
Annie O’Sullivan (she/her) covers holiday, gift guide, travel, and lifestyle content at Good Housekeeping. She has a degree in magazine journalism from Syracuse University and previously reported for Runner’s World, NBC New York/NY 4 and Woman’s Day. Annie also has experience writing entertainment news and celebrity-focused content.
